It’s Elle. I know, it’s been MONTHS since you’ve heard from me. Thankfully Kay has been making some posts in the mean time. It took her repeatedly asking me for the log-in information for me to actually give it to her. I have been dreading updating and here’s why:
I guess I put the expectation on myself that this blog would not be a whiny blog about how this process is taking too long, that I will not be ungrateful and that I would try to sound as cheery as possible. I’m not really sure why I put those expectations on myself. That’s not real life. So here is what has really been going on to explain our long streak of silence.
I was scheduled to go to our Doctor’s clinic and have an Embryo Trial Transfer – remember that? Well, the day before, I got a call from the IVF coordinator telling me that our doctor did not have all of the necessary resources…? So, she was sending me to a different fertility doctor in the area and that they would call me sometime that day to schedule the appointment – a little strange but that didn’t sound so bad. When that OTHER doctor’s office called me they said they needed to schedule a consultation – clearly they had me mistaken for someone else. I told them that we have already had a consultation and that the appointment I needed to make was for an Embryo Trial Transfer. She said that since it was a different clinic, they don’t know us and for us to become patients there we need to have a consultation…. silence…. I was confused and getting a little bit agitated and said, “Wait a minute, are we switching doctors?!” And then she proceeded to say that she didn’t know if the original doctor had told me or not but there had been a situation where our original doctor had split off from a bigger practice and was downsizing…blah..blah..blah… words that we caught wind of during our time there but they had told us we would just go to other practices for the bigger procedures. After several phone calls later and a very BELATED formal letter in the mail (containing a bill- of course), we found out that the doctor we originally went to was closing his practice. Yes, like for good. But – not before doing all types of tests that didn’t seem important or necessary to our new doctor. And then I started dwelling on things that had happened while we were patients there like how they continually would get Kay and I confused and say things like: Now, who’s the one carrying? Who’s the one I always talk to on the phone? Which one of you is Kay? So, after getting blood drawn once, Kay was told that her thyroid numbers were high and I was told that I am not immune to rubella. So, Kay went on thyroid medication and I went and got an MMR vaccine against my gut feeling that they had gotten our blood work mixed up. When I got my blood work done at the new doctor, my thyroid levels were high (this was done twice to make sure). I have no proof that they treated us carelessly, it’s just something that really bothers me.
I know that all the little things that have set us back are for a purpose and that we we do get pregnant the timing will be perfect. Kay is doing well taking her shots and keeping them refrigerated and making sure that she HAS all of the correct meds. She has probably spoken on the phone to various pharmacies and our fertility nurse than anyone else lately! She truly is my BMW <3.
I have been driving myself crazy with potential transfer dates and what that means for the due date and when my potential maternity leave would be. When did I become such a crazy planner?? Even though I would not consider myself to be a type A personality, I’m pretty sure working for 8 years as a teacher has caused me to develop some type A tendencies. I have to stop though (it’s so hard!) But, honestly- I do’t have any control over it and also I do not have a preference when it comes down to it. I just want a baby. So I’m trying to stop predicting and planning and worrying.
This has been a long post. If you made it to the end, congratulations! (and also sorry for the rant).
Till next time,