9 Weeks Pregnant!!

It’s been a long time since we’ve posted.  It has been a weird transition time of feeling out who and when we should tell the good news to.  Most of the people close to us know now and Kay has been bugging me to update the blog.

Here’s a little catch up update:

~ On March 31st, I went in for morning blood work (1st Beta).  That evening, Kay and I listened the the voice mail our doctor left and were so happy to hear “congratulations” this time.  Beta HCG was 218.

~ On April 3rd, I went in for morning blood work again (2nd Beta) and my HCG was 922.

~ On April 10th, I went in for more blood work and (3rd Beta) HCG was over 13,000.

~ On April 18th, Kay and I went to the doctor and saw our little baby for the first time!  I was so nervous… but there was the little heartbeat flickering away!

~ On May 3rd, we had our 2nd ultrasound and saw that everything was progressing well!  We officially graduated from the fertility center and I am finally off hormones.

We had visited our only local birthing center and took a tour.  I was immediately sold on it and Kay was very supportive.  So our next appointment is scheduled in about 2 weeks with a midwife.

 

It’s just so crazy!  I have had symptoms but I honestly expected worse (knock on wood).  I have been very very VERY tired.  I have had a few days of nausea but I have yet to actually vomit.  I have had a few food aversions and definitely have a super-power-like sense of smell.  I still have moments that seems so surreal – like wow, there really is someone growing inside me, working hard to develop at every second.  I’m just happy to finally be at the point when I can share the good news and enjoy the ride without being too worried about it all being ripped out from under us.

People keep asking me if we are going to find out the gender and the answer is a big YES!  I can’t wait to find out because I think it’ll just make it so much more fun and real to plan for baby.  I’m team girl.  Kay is team boy.  We’ll both be ecstatic with either 🙂

I guess that’s it for now!

<3,

Elle

2ww

So, I know it’s been a while since I posted.  However, I have been really trying not to dwell on the baby-making.  I feel so much better this time around and I feel like it is because of a combination of things:

  • Not planning so much – I came to the realization that last time we had a transfer, leading up to it I was saying no to things I should’ve said yes to.  And I was looking at the calendar like “Oh, I’ll still be in my first trimester then, so I should plan on traveling,” or “That wedding will be right around the due date…”  After the last try I thought that I’ve kind of stopped living my life.  This time I feel much more balanced in doing everything I can to give us our best chance at getting pregnant but not becoming obsessed.
  • Exercise – While on birth control and lupron I made sure that I was swimming at least 3 mornings every week and taking a long walk on Sundays.  This really did help me find my sense of normalcy and calm.
  • Acupuncture- I LOVE ACUPUNCTURE!  I was definitely in a slump and feeling depressed and just not me from like January to the middle of February.  After I had my first acupuncture treatment, I felt amazing.  My motivation came back and I felt way more energetic.  Plus, there is actual scientific proof that acupuncture helps your chances getting pregnant – so that makes me feel really good about it as well.  Although, I may want to continue in the future!
  • Progesterone in oil – This time around, I mentioned to my IVF coordinator nurse that I’d like to try the shots instead of the suppositories so that I can keep swimming.  She laughed a little at my reasoning but whatever lady, you don’t know me! LOL.  I can’t run because of a back condition and I have just found a new love – swimming.  If I’m going to be on progesterone for 9-10 weeks, I’d rather it be a shot so I can continue to exercise!
  • No surprises – This time we know exactly what to expect and that really helps more than you would think!  It just seemed that there was procedures that we required that were sprung on us at the last minute, or medicine we weren’t sure how to order, or medicine schedules I was afraid I would mess up.  This time I felt like I had it all under control and felt good not to be stressing about that one more thing.

And now we are in the  2ww and it is feeling like time is in slow motion.  I thought I would be afraid to assume I am pregnant because I know how it feels to then be let down. But, I’m enjoying being pregnant until proven otherwise.  No one really knows about our transfer except for family so that is also kind of nice.

I can’t be cautiously optimistic.  I’m either all in or not and right now, I’m all in.  This time just feels so much different.  I haven’t really had any symptoms (today is only 4dp5dt) except for a pinching/side sticker type pain in the left side of my uterus that happened all day on and off on 2dp5dt and a little bit this morning.  Its a feeling I did not feel last time at all.  I’ve then had some light cramping but sometimes I think it’s just gas 😛 I haven’t had not even the tiniest bit of spotting which worries me but I’m trying not to dwell.

We will find out soon enough!

♥, Elle

Transfer Day, Round 2

Today is the day. It is like waiting in line for a very large roller coaster, I am not sure if I am excited or scared to death. I am excited to be a parent but scared shitless it might not take again. I am grateful the opportunity we have but can’t help be fearful as well. This time around I am trying to be more realistic and neutral since last time I just was super positive and optimistic. I am excited to be a parent but I understand fate could have a different timeline than I want.

I have been giving Ella the progesterone and olate oil via a shot in her sides of her lower back for a few days now. I think of the shot as a dart and I push it in quickly with the same motion as I would throw a dart. Ella read it is better to warm the liquid in your hand some but most of the time she can’t wait long enough for me to actually get any heat created. At first I was super nervous about hurting her, since we watched this video from Freedom Fertility on how to administer the shot and it was talking about blood being in the needle. Likely that hasn’t happen but if we get pregnant today I will have many more weeks of shots to administer, so knock on wood.

Ella is getting acupuncture today before the transfer to help with blood flow and I am supposed to have some jokes lined up for Ella since we read that laughter can help with destressing the body. Ella has also been feeding into some old wise tales of eating brazilian nuts and eating a whole pineapple. They seem super silly to me but whatever makes her feel better I’ll support. She is a fan of many youtube couples who have done for fertility and seems to be super excited for twins. Me on the other hand might just pass out if we find out we might be having twins. Nothing against twins I just never imagined myself with two mini me’s at the same time. One me is tough enough.

I do have a good feeling for this time. St. Patrick’s day this weekend and I am getting a foster kitten after the transfer. Both are pretty lucky if you ask me. I rented Moonlight to watch as well tonight since Ella really wants to have a girl and name her Luna. I mean seems like these little things are worth trying.

Minus 2 hours till transfer time. Here’s to pregnant thoughts and a successful transfer. 10 days is so long to wait to find out!

♦Kay 

Round 2!

Hey this is Kay, sorry it has been a minute but deep inside I needed some time to grieve. After talking it through with Ella, we have decided to try again! Personally I didn’t realize trying again meant starting Ella’s 2 month part all over again but here we are.

Sorry we have been silent via our blog. Ella felt tons of pressure from family and friends knowing all the details that it was super overwhelming. We are just explaining to people who know us personally and ask that “we are working on it.” Not that we are trying to lie to family or friends, just wanted to give our selves the space we needed to focus on making the baby first.

Heads up each transfer once you have the embryos frozen is about $4000. So keep saving as it isn’t over till your pregnant. Then actually I guess, it just starts but hey I was never great at sayings in general.

Ella is currently on her lupron and estrace stage. She has finished birth control (thank god). She is taking lupron shots in the morning and estrace pills throughout the day. Today I think she is up to four pills a day. Ella has created medicine alerts on her phone to help her keep track of the pills and timing on when to take them.

She is at stage that I personally think is hell as the hormones constantly change her moods and tone. Hormones are no joke. She can be two totally different people throughout the day. At this stage, best to never let your wife get hungry because hangry and hormones don’t mix, trust me. I felt pretty weird the hormones I was taking but Ella is being pumped with way more than I could emotionally handle. Thanks goodness she is strong and dedicated to make this attempt successful.

Ella did some research on acupuncture and with input from our doctor decided that was something she wanted to try. She goes weekly and will have the acupuncture come before and after the transfer as it is known to help.

Ella also decided to switch from the progesterone suppositories to progesterone and oleate compound which is another shot, which isn’t covered by our insurance but somehow was still the cheaper of the two. Heads up CVS CareMax is terrible to work with as a prescription provider. The suppositories from an outsider looked way worse than a shot but we will see how it goes. She states the compound on March 13th.

Ella has acupuncture tomorrow which seems extremely painful but she enjoys. I will work on getting her to give an update on that as many may be interested in that part.

In a couple of weeks, I will be going to Ultra for my last hoorah before the baby just thought we would be pregnant by now. All things come in time and we are working on being patience. Baby making is hard work for sure.

Til next time!

Kay

 

Sad news

Our first beta testing was yesterday.  While I was teaching, I saw my phone light up with the fertility center’s number but I waited to listen to it almost 5 hours later when I was with Kay.  The results were negative.

I kind of prepared myself for that.  At 6dp5dt, I tested with first response and there was not even the faintest of lines.  At 9dp5dt, I tested with a digital first response and it was also negative.  So while I could keep telling myself (and I did) that it was too early to test, I knew deep down that my cramps stopped feeling new and began to feel more like menstrual cramps.

I have a million questions.  And probably only about 4 that I can actually put into words for the doctor.  We plan on emailing the fertility center this weekend.

What we do know is that we now have a choice to wait a bit to recover, or start again right away.  And honestly, it’s hard to know what we should do.

I’m trying to focus on the silver linings and here’s what I’ve got: I have the most amazing wife I could ever ask for (even when I was full of hormones), we have 11 frozen embryos still waiting to be thawed, the second time around we will know what to expect, and I have been off meds for 24 hours and already feel more like myself!

I want to carry a child.  That’s my dream.  I never assumed it would be easy – and we’re not giving up.  Not even for a second.

♥  Elle

 

Our little embryo!

On Monday one of our 12 frosties was transferred!  It’s probably too early to be feeling any symptoms but because I’ve been on progesterone suppositories and estrace pills, I have been have mild cramping even before the transfer.  So now, I constantly feel like over analyzing every little twinge, potty break, soreness…

But, truth be told, it will be a while until we know if we are indeed pregnant.  I really am thinking about our little embryo every chance I get.  I read some kind of post (can’t remember where since I’ve been having random boosts of googling) that a doctor wrote saying that there really is nothing you can do.  There’s all sorts of things all over the internet about eat this, not that, bed rest, no bed rest and this doctor was saying that the embryo will take or it won’t.  She said that the human reproductive process is flawed and sometimes it will take and some times not.

That made me feel relieved that as long as I followed the simple instructions like taking it easy but not on complete bed rest, and staying away from foods and drinks that you shouldn’t be consuming if you’re pregnant, then I am doing all that I can and I wouldn’t blame my actions if it didn’t work out.

However, it also made me feel restless because when all I need is time to pass, there’s nothing that I can do in the meantime. (You know, besides my normal daily life….haha).

I was never told at my previous appointment what my lining measurement was so I made it a point to ask when we went in for the transfer.  The nurse said I measured at 15!  Which is really good!  So, I’m trying to hold on to that fact to give me confidence.

What a weird balance it is to try and stay positive but also try not to get your hopes up too high.

Yesterday I had the thought that I CAN’T WAIT to pee on a stick and find out.  Then I thought, I CAN wait because I don’t want there to be a chance that this is over.  Right now I think of myself as pregnant and I don’t want that to end.  Of course we are lucky enough to be able to try again – and I’m super grateful.

So, I’m somewhere in the middle of can’t wait, can wait, happy, worried, anxious, hungry, and crampy.  🙂

Here’s a picture of our embryo!  I love them already!

img_0011

♥, Elle

Meds Galore!

Its’ been so long!  Here’s what we’ve been up to:

After the egg retrieval went so well, Kay tagged me and I was it!

So, I have taken 32 birth control pills, taken 3 weeks of daily lupron shots, taken estrogen pills (started at one twice a day, then two twice a day, then two three times a day).

img_2446

That has been it!

However, our transfer date is now OFFICIALLY January 16th!  JUST 6 DAYS AWAY!  WOOHOO!

So, for now, that means: MORE meds.

My last lupron shot is tomorrow morning – hallelujah!  But, I am to stay on my other medications and add some.  I just hope I’m able to take it all and not make any mistakes.  I have to take three different pill medications, baby aspirin, can’t forget the prenatal vitamins and, starting tonight, a progesterone suppository.img_2448

It will be interesting for sure.  In the past few years I have really taken on the attitude of avoiding medication wherever possible and so it is really hard for me to remember but thankfully I’m obsessed with this baby (already!) and so that helps along with setting alarms on my phone.

I was reading all the medications and times and dosages last night and Kay suggested we go get a pill box.  That will probably help a lot too. (That’s one day: morning, afternoon and night in that picture.)

img_2447

Since taking the estrogen I do feel like crying at surprising moments.  For example: I watched an episode of Long Island Medium and  cried but then it felt so good to cry that I watched three more episodes!

I have also been quick to anger.  My patience that I have (especially teaching elementary music) is pretty much gone and my poor students have been left with the music teacher from the black lagoon.  A fifth grade student who has been known to have some self-control issues with calling out and blurting anything that is on his mind said to me while entering the room, “Please tell me that we are not writing notes today.” (We’ve been learning about keys and chord progressions to prepare for a song writing unit on the ukuleles.)  Without thinking, I said, “Please tell me that you are going to have self-control and actually focus today.  Was that rude?”  He replied, “Yes.”  I shrugged and said, “So was what you said.”  I can’t say that’s teacher of the year material right there- BUT- I don’t regret it.  Sometimes I do think it’s good for students to understand how they come off when they let anything that comes to they head fall out of their mouth.  Perhaps it will be good for me.  Because while I am patient, I feel that students can take advantage of that every now and then.  My first graders are definitely behaving better!

So one can only GUESS what’s in store when I start these other meds tonight.  And more so, when I am pregnant.

We shall see!

I am going to try to make a few posts after the transfer during out wait for the BETA test.

♥, Elle